Beam me up, Scotty!

Put those down, Scotty, I need a major evac!
Put those down, Scotty, I need a major evac!

I WAS surprised to read that Glasgow is far behind the rest of the UK when it comes to internet access.

According to the regulator Ofcom, 68 per cent of homes in the city have broadband access to the internet.

We seem to be getting better, however, as last year the figure was 61%, but we’re still behind the national average at 74%.

Given that this is the future (or so we’re told) this is surprising.

I have tried to embrace new technology and now have Facebook and Twitter accounts which I use often and, with this weather, I wonder why more people are not connecting online as an alternative to digging out the wellies and heading out to meet people.

Indeed, it’s some time since I’ve been face-to-face with some of my friends from the old — pre-wifi — days.

If they didn’t have pictures of themselves on their Facebook account, I’d probably have forgotten what they looked like.

One friend I haven’t seen in several years, despite the fact he only lives in the westend, sparked my interest by claiming on Facebook that he had seen a UFO clearly in the skies over Partick.

I like to keep an open mind about things, so I read on and discovered it was some amusing reference to a large, yellow disc, hovering in space.

Yes, it was the sun: that elusive giver of life which has made scant appearances over the past couple of months.

The question is, what is the natural conclusion of the massive advancement of technology?

I first encountered computers in the late 80s and back then there was no such thing as hard drives.

You booted your PC with a floppy disc and then replaced it with another to boot specific programme (such as a word processor) before using another to save any work.

In 20-odd years, I now use a phone which is far superior to anything I ever dreamed of back then.

Apart from making phone calls, I can text, take hi-res pictures, check all my e-mail accounts, communicate via Facebook and Twitter and even type in a story on my phone’s word processor.

At work, I use a PC which is set up so this story, for example, can be filed for use and, once placed on a page, sent down to the printers – whizzing away over broadband.

At a slower rate, I have even filed stories from home.

Is that the future? The end of the office environment replaced with every member of staff doing their work from home and interfacing with colleagues via webcam?

I would hope not as it’s difficult to get some banter going with a mass of pixels on a 2D screen.

I’m also old school enough to appreciate receiving my information on a one-on-one basis.

That way there’s perfect clarity and less confusion.

But I would never knock technology or its advances — spectacular that they are — which have been made.

They’ve made my job easier, and those of others.

But if this rain persists, I’ll be angling for The Extra to invest in a Star Trek-style transporter — they should be out by Christmas.