HOW on earth are they still on their feet? How can they move around unaided?
They have a combined age somewhere in the region of 244 years and yet here they are, The Stranglers, still touring and rocking – when they should be in their rockers.
They say the good die young so just how bad are these bad boys?
Age-defining confession time: I first saw the band back in 1977 at the Apollo.
Earlier in the year, following a gig at the Guild Hall, the city fathers had banned them from ever appearing in the city again.
This was back when councillors acted more like strict parents than clear-thinking politicians.
It was also the decade when they banned Ken Russell’s film The Devils and Stanley Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange from the cinemas.
But Glasgow embraced punk rock with a big hug and the ‘oldies’ had no right to say what we could and couldn’t listen to or see perform.
Eventually, the council saw sense and lifted the ban (though, I think The Devils is still banned).
The gig was quite simply an evening of raw energy, booming drums battered till the skin bled and guitars tortured till the screamed for mercy.
Since those heady days, lead singer Hugh Cornwell has long since moved on and been replaced by the sprightly 48-year-old Baz Warne.
The rest of the band – Dave Greenfield, Jet Black and Jean Jacques Burnel – remain intact and have never really given up recording and touring.
Burnel is the youngest of the original line-up at 60 while drummer Jet Black is a mind-boggling 74.
Although playing much newer stuff at the gig, there will still be time for the old hits such as Get A Grip On Yourself, Peaches, Golden Brown, Strange Little Girl, Duchess and the phenomenal No More Heroes.
Nothing less would be desired from the band which is celebrating 35 years since the released of Grip.
The Stranglers are at the 02 Academy on Saturday, March 3.
Doors open at 7pm and tickets are £23.